Meet "Don"

A couple years ago when I still lived with my mother her kleptomaniac vicodin addicted boyfriend was having one of his crazy drunken nights. Just for this story and all future ones we will call this guy "Don".

We lived on the second floor, college kids lived on the third, and the first was vacant.

I looked out my window on this night and to see Don outside pissing on the side of one of the college kids Jeeps, I was like WTF and stuck my head back in the house.

A few minutes later he calls me out into the hallway and hands me an 80GB IPOD and his exact words were:"If you tell anyone I gave you this I will kill you."

I kinda just looked at it and was like.......okay???

My train of thought was interrupted like literally 10 seconds later by people yelling outside,"Call the fire department!!!"

I rushed to the window to see what they were talking about and to my disbelief the Jeep Don was just pissing on he side of was ablaze. Literally the car was engulfed in flames starting from the front seat it burned a whole right threw the Jeep shattered windows the paint melting away.... Seriously all within a matter of minutes.

It clicked instantly I was holding an IPOD that was just stolen out of this poor guys Jeep and this idiot set it on fire. I honestly could not believe what I had just witnessed... Seriously my mom picks winners doesn't she?

To top it all off after the flames had been put out and the damage had been seen Don comes walking over to the poor guy and tell him how sorry he is that this had to happen to him.

THEN Don strikes a deal with the guy. He lets him know that because the tires weren't damaged he would get a little bit of cash for them. The guy agrees, Don gets to work and leaves the Jeep sitting on milk crates. He got about $300 and an IPOD out of the deal.

I personally was disgusted that someone could be so cruel to do something like that to another man who worked hard for his things.

Its been a few years and you are the first person I have shared my story with, and in case anyone was wondering the first thing I did with the IPOD was give it away to someone at school because as bad as I wanted one I don't think how it was obtained was right and I didn't want to be a part of that.

Trials and Tribulations of a Sandwich Maker

I work at a sandwich shop... Who cares right?? Yea I know.

Anyway my manager is a perve so unless you have a vagina your gonna get shitty hours. You guessed it I unfortunately have balls.

I been there a little under a year and still make minimum and the only reason I stuck it out this far is because of continuous promises that a pay raise is right around the corner. Yea I'm somewhat of a sucker huh?

I think my manager likes men too. That is a scary thought but I swear man, woman, or animal he would fuck anything with a hole.

I got a rent to pay, I'm 18, estranged from the one parent I have left , and in desperate need of a better job. But chances are Ill be making minimum for the rest of my life. Working my ass off to make sandwiches for selfish inconsiderate pieces of shit and getting screwed out of hours by a bunch of self-centered snobs with big boobs because the guy that does the hours is hornier than a two-peckered billy goat.

I like to think that the man upstairs hasn't predestined me to live a life of insanity but I swear the little hope I have left gets pissed away just a little more everyday.